Today we are diving into our love lives.
Get ready to clash an article fiesta!
We are also volunteering to play a game called musical chairs.
Get your party spirit ready!
The master of ceremony announces that some volunteers are needed to play musical chairs. He gives instructions on how the game will be played. Once we have understood them, we are given a few minutes to observe the chairs. Maybe there are uncomfortable, wooden chairs, or unbelievably, flexible, rotating stools ,or the big, comfortable, soft ones. The music starts and we dance enthusiastically. Some of us know exactly which seat to grab, others are just killing time on the dance floor, while there are those who can’t even decide which seat to grab. Suddenly, the music stops and we have to grab a seat or get kicked out of the game. Nearly everybody finds a seat in the first round. By the last round however, there is a 50% chance of not getting one .
Let’s relate dating to musical chairs.
I have tested positive for dancing musical chairs, and I am sure most of us have experienced dancing this game in our love life. There is a wide variety of dancers from straight to gay to bisexuals to male or female among many others. It’s interesting how the dancers as well as the seats have different intentions; some want a meaningful relationship, while others just want to play around.
The question today is: what intention do you have as a seat or a dancer during the fiesta? Is that intention breaking or building your future?
Building our future might look like committing to one seat which is scary for most us in our 20s.If this topic freaks you out , you are not alone. We are almost obsessed with avoiding giving all of our time and effort to a person. To commit is an easy explained word than done. Committing is choosing a chair and sticking to it. This doesn’t mean that, that chair is our final destination. We might get back to the dancefloor. However, this time we will have learnt a few lessons and evaluated ourselves. We will know that we were claiming our adulthood and not killing time!
Currently, the 20s dance musical chairs on Friday or Saturday nights ,and head home for a one night stand with one of the seats. This hook up culture is the definition of breaking our future. We just want to go with the flow without any expectations from either sides. We don’t want to define the relationship which is a very important yet never easy part. This is proof that we are scared of letting others break into our hearts ,and intertwine every aspect of our life with their life.
When the music stops for the first time ; some of us grab and marry our first seats ,while others find their deepest love after grabbing several stools . For the latter , it may take a few worthwhile tries to really know what love and commitment is. There is no easy one size fits all formula for success in the game of love.
In the end it’s the dancer who at the best knows the joy of walking down the aisle ,and who at the worst fails at least claiming his or her adulthood. We might regret grabbing some chairs. However, to live without regret is to believe we have nothing to learn or amend. If you have nothing to learn then what’s the point of life?
Inspired by Alex, Meg Jay’s patient as discussed in The Defining Decade Book.
# musical chairs # intentional dating # building our future #say no to killing time # stick to a seat #claiming our adulthood # no formula # something to learn